Dear Adam,

Perhaps you’ve lately felt the pull back to your home state of New Hampshire? Perhaps you’ve heard the giggles from our couch since COVID-19 quarantine started? While not each of your films is appropriate for our 9 and 10 year old, many of them are, and we’ve watched most of them since the world closed down last March.

I believe the first film we watched which stole our son’s heart was Billy Madison, one of my husband Geoff’s favorites, back during March Madness, the “lock down- quarantine- teaching and learning from home edition”; since then, whenever the chance for a family movie, which is at least 3 nights a week (given my husband’s spinal cord injury, our belief in wearing masks, and time spent at home), Carver googles and then offers enthusiastically, “LET’S WATCH another Adam Sandler Movie.” And so we do. Our most recent viewings though have been Fifty First Dates, Grown Ups, Grown Ups 2, and Blended, hilarious for both children and parents alike. They are feel- good family films, and, as a high school English teacher back full time wearing a mask all day with amazing students grateful to be in person, there simply are not enough of those in the world right now.

In fact, I think your films naturally help to segue some of those more awkward conversations about puberty. Our fifth grader is now wearing deodorant regularly because we told him you do. It wasn’t enough to know that his parents wear deodorant, and smelling badly could be a fact of life if one does not shower, wear clean clothes and use deodorant, etc. But throw in a fun fact about you, Sir Adam Sandler, wearing deodorant, this brand even, which may or not be true, and he is suddenly sold, likely to remember his arm pit hygiene before his teeth.

Part of the beauty about age 10 is that many grown ups retain much of their 10 year old selves. He sees this in many of the characters you play. For example, he believes profoundly in Santa. But last night he saw a commercial about being able to call Santa on Zoom since in person Santa visits may be out of the question this December. “Mom, we should call this zoom Santa ‘COVID CLAUS’. That’s hilarious right.”

And I agree that it is hilarious.

“But, Mom, this is actually a terrible idea about Santa having Zoom calls because then kids, especially the little ones who don’t really understand how busy he and his elves are, might be changing their lists all the time and want to tell him in person, right?” I pause without responding because I feel like he is fact checking me for affirmation that Santa is still real. However, he isn’t even looking at me. He is just shaking his head as if all the marketing people in the world have no idea what a terrible headache they have created for the 2020 Santa, aka COVID Claus.

My daughter is a big fan too and suggested we use my blog to write to you, and that maybe you see it somewhere and write back. Although the only other really famous people we’ve written to are Ellen, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and Mikaela Shiffrin, and, well, we’ve never heard back.

Some questions my children have for you:

“Mom, was Adam Sandler always so funny?”

(I have said no– that you were once a 4th grader too and only funny to yourself and one friend maybe and your mom and teachers likely)

“Mom, do you notice how he always wears a shirt from NH? Do you think he has ever been to our town?”

(I have said yes, probably even this summer, because it felt like the world came to hide out in our mountains at some point in the last six months.)

“Mom, can you picture Adam Sandler on skis? He should bring his family to Lincoln and ski at Loon Mountain. Maybe not this year because of COVID, but he would enjoy skiing with me and even riding the chair lift. I have some good jokes. He might think I am funny too. I am pretty funny. ”

(I have said yes, I can picture him on skis and that, yes, he would like your jokes, especially when you called your 5th grade teacher, Mrs. Houde, “a classic.” God bless Mrs. Houde, the others who came before her and especially the ones who have yet to come…)

So, Adam, I feel like you are the kind of person who wants to be called by your name. Just know that you are loved and adored here in Woodstock, NH. Look us up if you ever come to town, and we can’t wait to cross more of your movies off our list.

Sincerely,

The Woodstock, NH Krills